You stroke my mind...

You came into my life just like friend,
lending me a helping hand.

One day you stroke my mind,
how can be one so gentle and kind.

Interacting with all with love and care,
which i found something very rare.

I was blown by the way you talked,
I wanted to say something but my lips were locked.

Looking at you from a distance apart,
could not resist to see u as it was so hard.

You won my heart by the polite tenderness,
as it was tough to find in some one else.

Your truth fullness and honesty captured my mind,
so many qualities how one can bind.

Now you live in my heart and captures my mind,
rules the soul and locked in my eyes.

Tears are not Enough

My mind begins to wonder
My heart begins to race
As the memory of you
Drifts back into place

I got a picture of you smiling
With a sparkle in your eyes
You looked at me so gently
And kept me mesmerized

AS much as I tired
Your face wouldn't go away
Your eyes, your lips, your smile,
I thought of you all day

It was soon about 3
With you still on my mind
I thought while listening to music
In a flash it was 9

I made my bed
To get some rest
As I lay down
I thought of nothing less

The most important memories
Replayed over and over again
And I realized how I missed you
As the days replayed again

No, I hadn't known you very long
But you had such an effect on me
You captured my heart within a day
As I begin to fall wishing for you and me

The way it felt when we touched
The way you made me feel
It seemed that you were too perfect
To even be real

And that's when the tears
Begin to form in my eyes
They told myself how much I missed you,
But I did not want to cry

I hugged my teddy bear
To soften the pain
But it reminded me that it wasn't you,
And the tears they formed again

I remember the first night you kissed me,
How the silence spoke so many words,
There was so much silence but so much said,
you said nothing and I heard

I don't know why
Thinking of you hurts me so
It seems like we had both nothing and everything,
and I still can't let that go

I pick up the phone
With hope in my heart
I dial the number
Still sitting in the dark

The operator answered
I dial the number to your room
She connects me, no trouble
I might talk to you soon

But no surprise
Your gone yet again
She says you'll be home
She just doesn't know when

So I set down the phone
Curling up into a ball
Somehow convincing myself
That you don't care at all

So once again those days replay
But this time I let a couple tears fall
I stop myself before it gets to far
I let some of it go, but not it all

I want to cry but at the same time I don't,
But I know I have to be tough,
Because in my heart I know
That tears are not enough...

She couldn't stand the silence,
She couldn't stand the tears,
She couldn't stand her life,
After only sixteen years.

He was her entire world,
She gave him all she possessed,
He did the same in return,
They were thought to be obsessed.

Their love couldn't be reached,
Couldn't be touched by any other,
They were all they needed,
They only wanted each other.

From two they became one,
They made each other whole,
They filled each other's voids,
They filled each other's souls.

Everything was perfect,
Everything was great,
Till one damning day,
They were told they'd have to wait.

Her parents were moving her,
To a distant place,
They'd be torn apart,
Couldn't see each other's face.

They swore they'd make it work,
Vowed to stay together,
Didn't care about the distance,
They'd be together forever.

She gave it all she had,
She did her very best,
But he still slipped away,
He didn't pass the test.

While she was thinking of him,
He had found another,
He said he couldn't do it,
He talked it over with his mother.

She was devastated,
Her heart was torn straight out,
She'd been such a fool,
She should have listened to her doubt.

From then on they stopped talking,
Never spoke again,
While he was with his new girl,
She was dreaming of him.

Every day she'd cry,
She tried to fight off all the pain,
But the hurting never stopped,
Just shot through every vein.

Months went by since the ending,
But she only grew worse,
She couldn't accept what happened,
This was love's curse.

It finally overtook her,
She couldn't stand it anymore,
She grabbed a picture of him,
And snuck out the front door.

She walked into the woods,
Found a secluded place,
Kept thinking of the past,
And how she'd been replaced.

Hours later she was found,
In a pool of her blood,
And beside her they found,
His picture in the mud.

On the back read her reason,
Why she took her life,
What he did to her,
It seemed he had held the knife.

Though physically he didn't kill her,
He tore her soul apart,
It was obvious how she did,
It was from a broken heart.

"Beautiful Mistake"

Love is the slowest form of suicide
Your lips are laced with cyanide
But I’m still addicted to your kiss
And I can feel the tingle on my lips

I hear your lies inside my head
I know I’m alive but I feel dead
I can’t take the pain you caused
Nothing can replace what I have lost

Each cut replaces a memory of what I used to know
The blood is so pretty against the snow
I can feel my heart beating faster
As I stare at my beautiful disaster

You were my favorite mistake
Now you’re the cuts I have to make
Soon you’ll be my favorite scar
I can’t handle who you are

Outside you see my smiles; I’m faking!
Inside you can’t see my pain; I’m breaking!
I’m good at hiding, great at pretending
No one knows my life is ending

I’m silent even when I’m screaming
I’m awake even when I’m dreaming
I’m not alive even when I’m breathing
My heart’s broken even when it’s beating

I feel the blood seep through the skin
You’re every little mark, every little sin
You’re the name my wrist is bleeding
You’re the name my voice is screaming

You’re the love in my suicide note
You’re the reason my heart broke
This beautiful crimson is bled for you
This beautiful death is because of you

I Can't Let Him Go

I looked at him for the first time, and not noticing I would fall in love with him I looked away.
I now sit at home only thinking about him.
Why is it that I can't let him go?
I know realize he is never coming back, and begin to cry.
He was my first, my first at so many things.
But the one thing I will always remember, is
that he was my first "True Love."
I did things not thinking of the outcome, and now I am left home all alone.
I just can't let him go.
Why is it that he can act like nothing is wrong, and say "I Love You?"
Does it even mean anything?
If he read this, would he show this to all of his friends?
I just don't know anymore!
All I know is that I love a guy.
And for that reason......
"I Can't Let Him Go"

I want him to be honest.
I want him to always tell me the truth, even if it hurts.
I want to be able to trust him. I will never have to worry that he is with someone else; because I am the only one he wants.

I want him to be manly
I want him to get hurt and laugh it off as if it didn’t, even if his eyes tear up.
I want to know that if I left him he would cry for me.
I want to know that I am his world.
I want to know that he will kiss and hug me in front of his friends even if they make fun of him.

I want him to always say yes when I say please, because he can’t say no.
I want him to tell me how sexy I am twenty times a day.
I want him to be thoughtful. He will bring me home flowers one day just because he wants to see me smile.
I want to know that if I am crying he will be doing the same next to me, if only because he sees me in pain.
I want him to never leave a room without kissing me and saying “I love you.”

When we make love I want him to want me so badly it hurts. And once we are done all he wants to do is cuddle and hold me tight.
I want him to tell me he will love me forever and believe him.
I want us to have children, and they only get the best of us.
I want him to love my faults.
I want for him to see me coming into a room and for his breath to catch.

I want him to have an awesome sense of humor.
I want him to tease me and make me laugh.
I want for us to fight but that it will only make us closer.
I want for him to want to take away all my pain and sadness.
I want for us to know each other so well we finish each others sentences.
I want to know when he is happy, sad, turned-on etc.

I want us to never take each other for granted.
I want us to be together forever.
I want him to be the only one for me, and me for him.

~WithOut U I'd die~

The night was dreamy as the rain came down,
he said "Lets go for a ride away from town".
All through the ride he had nothing to say,
it's almost as if something stood in his way.
Then suddenly, it came,
out of the blue.
"My parents said "i have to break up with you".
"I'm sorry" he said "i cant pretend",
"My parents said our love must end".
he took off her ring, as tears came from his eyes,
at the same time, the fear of loosing him began to rise.

With tears threatening to fall,
her held them back,
as she unconsciously parked her car on the rail-road track.
she wrote something on a piece of paper,
held his hand and said "Read it later".
she always wished they would never part,
she said in a sad voice "You just broke my heart".
he opened the door and walked out in the rain,
Thats when he saw the lights of the train.
Realizing to late, at what he had sighted,
with the blink of an eye, the metal collided.
All he could remember, was blood running red,
and someone saying, "I'm sorry she's dead".
The ambulance sounded like an agony cry,
Then he read the paper and it said "Without you I'd die "

They say to move on
They say to cope
You’ll find someone better
You just need hope

Well hope is a hard thing to find
When the only love in your life
Has walked away
Leaving you in strife

How can you have hope?
When there was only one person
Who helped u through thick and thin
Takes away all your reason

Where do I find hope?
When everything I’ve ever believed in
Comes crashing down to an end
Leaving me in out in the open

Could you find hope?
When all is lost
And cannot be found
No matter the cost

When my trust, betrayed
My heart thrown to the ground
My love forgotten
My head staying down

I see that there is no hope
And no longer will the stars shine
Just a pure darkness cast over me heart
‘Til the end of time

The paper again blank,
From words i cannot say
I guess i just got scared,
After what you did today

I'm sorry that i spoke,
And I'm sorry that i cried
But, Dad, please listen,
For once believe I've tried

Tonight was just so horrible,
And again i felt the sting,
Of a thousand pounding fists
Hammering against my skin

"Dad, don't hit me again,
It really hurts my head"
But you don't even notice,
You'll just beat me till I'm dead

Never have you been around,
To comfort me from pain
Instead you use forceful hands,
Only proving you more insane

My heart is bleeding inside,
My face stained black and blue
I really hate lying to them,
For the abusive things you do

People are starting to wonder,
If my excuses are real
Many lies I've told them all,
Of the bruises that won't heal

"Falling over, tripping up,
Even walking into the door,
Playing sports on the weekend
And slipping on the floor"

Dad, i have no more heart
To cover up your dirty lies
I tried my best to listen,
To be quiet, and to hide

But after years of yelling,
And flying ceramic disks
I'm ready to run away,
From the hardness of your fists

I'm picking myself of the floor,
And screaming in your face
I don't care who hears me
Because i f cuking hate this place

So say goodbye to memories,
Of chucking things at me
Say fare well to my gutless heart,
A new, strong person you will see

I'm convincing myself, yes I'll find some1 new, I won't be alone, & I won't be w/you .. You're waiting 4me,2crawl back to ur side but no..not this time, I'm keeping my pride .. So goodbye 4ever, I'll be on my way, It's gonna take time, but I'll be okay

forgetting him *forget his name* *forget his face* *forget his kiss and warm embrace* *forget the love that once was true* *remember now there's something new* *forget the times you spent together* *remember now he's gone forever*

~Youll never know how much I miss you,
You won't see it in my face,
You'll never know I"ll never find another
That could take your place
Cus I'll be smiling when I see you
My tears won't ever show,
Yeah I'm alwayz gonna love you,
But I guess You'll never know~

This time it's over, I'm keeping my heart ,I'm gonna be strong & not fall apart .. It'll get better, I'll no longer cry.. In a couple of weeks, I wont want 2 die, I won't want 2 go back, I'll be able 2 sleep, It won't hurt so bad, & it won't feel so deep :-(

Im gonna write ur name but Ill do it w/a twist Ill write it w/a razor blade Ill write it on my wrist n As I write ur name a red fountain will appear n as this fountain flows my troubles disappear...

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING, JUST ASK ME FOR IT..Sign My GuestBook { Forum } Thank You...come back soon site is updated every week... ~Yana


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		*Poems By Others*



		You stroke my mind... You came into my life just like friend, lending me a helping hand. One day you stroke my mind, how can be one so gentle and kind. Interacting with all with love and care, which i found something very rare. I was blown by the way you talked, I wanted to say something but my lips were locked. Looking at you from a distance apart, could not resist to see u as it was so hard. You won my heart by the polite tenderness, as it was tough to find in some one else. Your truth fullness and honesty captured my mind, so many qualities how one can bind. Now you live in my heart and captures my mind, rules the soul and locked in my eyes. Tears are not Enough My mind begins to wonder My heart begins to race As the memory of you Drifts back into place I got a picture of you smiling With a sparkle in your eyes You looked at me so gently And kept me mesmerized AS much as I tired Your face wouldn't go away Your eyes, your lips, your smile, I thought of you all day It was soon about 3 With you still on my mind I thought while listening to music In a flash it was 9 I made my bed To get some rest As I lay down I thought of nothing less The most important memories Replayed over and over again And I realized how I missed you As the days replayed again No, I hadn't known you very long But you had such an effect on me You captured my heart within a day As I begin to fall wishing for you and me The way it felt when we touched The way you made me feel It seemed that you were too perfect To even be real And that's when the tears Begin to form in my eyes They told myself how much I missed you, But I did not want to cry I hugged my teddy bear To soften the pain But it reminded me that it wasn't you, And the tears they formed again I remember the first night you kissed me, How the silence spoke so many words, There was so much silence but so much said, you said nothing and I heard I don't know why Thinking of you hurts me so It seems like we had both nothing and everything, and I still can't let that go I pick up the phone With hope in my heart I dial the number Still sitting in the dark The operator answered I dial the number to your room She connects me, no trouble I might talk to you soon But no surprise Your gone yet again She says you'll be home She just doesn't know when So I set down the phone Curling up into a ball Somehow convincing myself That you don't care at all So once again those days replay But this time I let a couple tears fall I stop myself before it gets to far I let some of it go, but not it all I want to cry but at the same time I don't, But I know I have to be tough, Because in my heart I know That tears are not enough... She couldn't stand the silence, She couldn't stand the tears, She couldn't stand her life, After only sixteen years. He was her entire world, She gave him all she possessed, He did the same in return, They were thought to be obsessed. Their love couldn't be reached, Couldn't be touched by any other, They were all they needed, They only wanted each other. From two they became one, They made each other whole, They filled each other's voids, They filled each other's souls. Everything was perfect, Everything was great, Till one damning day, They were told they'd have to wait. Her parents were moving her, To a distant place, They'd be torn apart, Couldn't see each other's face. They swore they'd make it work, Vowed to stay together, Didn't care about the distance, They'd be together forever. She gave it all she had, She did her very best, But he still slipped away, He didn't pass the test. While she was thinking of him, He had found another, He said he couldn't do it, He talked it over with his mother. She was devastated, Her heart was torn straight out, She'd been such a fool, She should have listened to her doubt. From then on they stopped talking, Never spoke again, While he was with his new girl, She was dreaming of him. Every day she'd cry, She tried to fight off all the pain, But the hurting never stopped, Just shot through every vein. Months went by since the ending, But she only grew worse, She couldn't accept what happened, This was love's curse. It finally overtook her, She couldn't stand it anymore, She grabbed a picture of him, And snuck out the front door. She walked into the woods, Found a secluded place, Kept thinking of the past, And how she'd been replaced. Hours later she was found, In a pool of her blood, And beside her they found, His picture in the mud. On the back read her reason, Why she took her life, What he did to her, It seemed he had held the knife. Though physically he didn't kill her, He tore her soul apart, It was obvious how she did, It was from a broken heart. "Beautiful Mistake" Love is the slowest form of suicide Your lips are laced with cyanide But I’m still addicted to your kiss And I can feel the tingle on my lips I hear your lies inside my head I know I’m alive but I feel dead I can’t take the pain you caused Nothing can replace what I have lost Each cut replaces a memory of what I used to know The blood is so pretty against the snow I can feel my heart beating faster As I stare at my beautiful disaster You were my favorite mistake Now you’re the cuts I have to make Soon you’ll be my favorite scar I can’t handle who you are Outside you see my smiles; I’m faking! Inside you can’t see my pain; I’m breaking! I’m good at hiding, great at pretending No one knows my life is ending I’m silent even when I’m screaming I’m awake even when I’m dreaming I’m not alive even when I’m breathing My heart’s broken even when it’s beating I feel the blood seep through the skin You’re every little mark, every little sin You’re the name my wrist is bleeding You’re the name my voice is screaming You’re the love in my suicide note You’re the reason my heart broke This beautiful crimson is bled for you This beautiful death is because of you I Can't Let Him Go I looked at him for the first time, and not noticing I would fall in love with him I looked away. I now sit at home only thinking about him. Why is it that I can't let him go? I know realize he is never coming back, and begin to cry. He was my first, my first at so many things. But the one thing I will always remember, is that he was my first "True Love." I did things not thinking of the outcome, and now I am left home all alone. I just can't let him go. Why is it that he can act like nothing is wrong, and say "I Love You?" Does it even mean anything? If he read this, would he show this to all of his friends? I just don't know anymore! All I know is that I love a guy. And for that reason...... "I Can't Let Him Go"



		*MY GUY* I want him to be honest. I want him to always tell me the truth, even if it hurts. I want to be able to trust him. I will never have to worry that he is with someone else; because I am the only one he wants. I want him to be manly I want him to get hurt and laugh it off as if it didn’t, even if his eyes tear up. I want to know that if I left him he would cry for me. I want to know that I am his world. I want to know that he will kiss and hug me in front of his friends even if they make fun of him. I want him to always say yes when I say please, because he can’t say no. I want him to tell me how sexy I am twenty times a day. I want him to be thoughtful. He will bring me home flowers one day just because he wants to see me smile. I want to know that if I am crying he will be doing the same next to me, if only because he sees me in pain. I want him to never leave a room without kissing me and saying “I love you.” When we make love I want him to want me so badly it hurts. And once we are done all he wants to do is cuddle and hold me tight. I want him to tell me he will love me forever and believe him. I want us to have children, and they only get the best of us. I want him to love my faults. I want for him to see me coming into a room and for his breath to catch. I want him to have an awesome sense of humor. I want him to tease me and make me laugh. I want for us to fight but that it will only make us closer. I want for him to want to take away all my pain and sadness. I want for us to know each other so well we finish each others sentences. I want to know when he is happy, sad, turned-on etc. I want us to never take each other for granted. I want us to be together forever. I want him to be the only one for me, and me for him. . : ~WithOut U I'd die~ The night was dreamy as the rain came down, he said "Lets go for a ride away from town". All through the ride he had nothing to say, it's almost as if something stood in his way. Then suddenly, it came, out of the blue. "My parents said "i have to break up with you". "I'm sorry" he said "i cant pretend", "My parents said our love must end". he took off her ring, as tears came from his eyes, at the same time, the fear of loosing him began to rise. With tears threatening to fall, her held them back, as she unconsciously parked her car on the rail-road track. she wrote something on a piece of paper, held his hand and said "Read it later". she always wished they would never part, she said in a sad voice "You just broke my heart". he opened the door and walked out in the rain, Thats when he saw the lights of the train. Realizing to late, at what he had sighted, with the blink of an eye, the metal collided. All he could remember, was blood running red, and someone saying, "I'm sorry she's dead". The ambulance sounded like an agony cry, Then he read the paper and it said "Without you I'd die " *No hope* They say to move on They say to cope You’ll find someone better You just need hope Well hope is a hard thing to find When the only love in your life Has walked away Leaving you in strife How can you have hope? When there was only one person Who helped u through thick and thin Takes away all your reason Where do I find hope? When everything I’ve ever believed in Comes crashing down to an end Leaving me in out in the open Could you find hope? When all is lost And cannot be found No matter the cost When my trust, betrayed My heart thrown to the ground My love forgotten My head staying down I see that there is no hope And no longer will the stars shine Just a pure darkness cast over me heart ‘Til the end of time Goodbye Abuse The paper again blank, From words i cannot say I guess i just got scared, After what you did today I'm sorry that i spoke, And I'm sorry that i cried But, Dad, please listen, For once believe I've tried Tonight was just so horrible, And again i felt the sting, Of a thousand pounding fists Hammering against my skin "Dad, don't hit me again, It really hurts my head" But you don't even notice, You'll just beat me till I'm dead Never have you been around, To comfort me from pain Instead you use forceful hands, Only proving you more insane My heart is bleeding inside, My face stained black and blue I really hate lying to them, For the abusive things you do People are starting to wonder, If my excuses are real Many lies I've told them all, Of the bruises that won't heal "Falling over, tripping up, Even walking into the door, Playing sports on the weekend And slipping on the floor" Dad, i have no more heart To cover up your dirty lies I tried my best to listen, To be quiet, and to hide But after years of yelling, And flying ceramic disks I'm ready to run away, From the hardness of your fists I'm picking myself of the floor, And screaming in your face I don't care who hears me Because i f cuking hate this place So say goodbye to memories, Of chucking things at me Say fare well to my gutless heart, A new, strong person you will see I'm convincing myself, yes I'll find some1 new, I won't be alone, & I won't be w/you .. You're waiting 4me,2crawl back to ur side but no..not this time, I'm keeping my pride .. So goodbye 4ever, I'll be on my way, It's gonna take time, but I'll be okay forgetting him forget his name forget his face forget his kiss and warm embrace forget the love that once was true remember now there's something new forget the times you spent together remember now he's gone forever ~Youll never know how much I miss you, You won't see it in my face, You'll never know I"ll never find another That could take your place Cus I'll be smiling when I see you My tears won't ever show, Yeah I'm alwayz gonna love you, But I guess You'll never know~ This time it's over, I'm keeping my heart ,I'm gonna be strong & not fall apart .. It'll get better, I'll no longer cry.. In a couple of weeks, I wont want 2 die, I won't want 2 go back, I'll be able 2 sleep, It won't hurt so bad, & it won't feel so deep :-( Im gonna write ur name but Ill do it w/a twist Ill write it w/a razor blade Ill write it on my wrist n As I write ur name a red fountain will appear n as this fountain flows my troubles disappear... *PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING, JUST ASK ME FOR IT..Sign My GuestBook { Forum } Thank You...come back soon site is updated every week... ~Yana*